I.+Self-Reliance+Project

__ Self-Reliance Reflection Project __ By Alex Hirschberger When I look back at myself, I can say that I have learned a lot from experience. However, some life lessons are not explainable by words or books, and one has to actually go through a situation to understand it better. Just like me when I was little. I never really understood the meaning of the phrase “Be yourself!” I would think about it all day long, but I was not able to figure out if there was the case that I would not be myself. I could put on the Batman suit that my parents had gotten me for my fifth birthday and pretend to save the world, but at the end of the day I was still Alex Hirschberger. The actual meaning behind it was way much deeper than I could imagine. Up until when I was in eighth grade, a new clothing trend came around and a lot of people close to me started wearing it. The clothing line was associated with gangs and violent groups, and it was a symbol of ‘being tough’. It did not take a while until my friends would say: “Hey, why don’t you get a new jacket? You would look way better in those new ones.” I had to belong to my ‘friends’ and buy some new clothes, if I wanted to be respected, I told myself. After a while my closet was filled with new sweatshirts, jeans, and a new jacket. I had to admit that the clothes looked a little strange, but people said that it had to be this way. These people were my friends, so they had to know what was good for me. One day, a good friend of mine, who I had known since I was little, came up, looked at me and said: “So this is who you are now. Is it how you expected; being one of the though guys? This is not who you really are and you know that!” The same night I looked at myself in the mirror and I realized that she was right: What I saw was not me. It was somebody pretending to be cool and acting like a clown. Maybe I wanted to be special, but I went the totally opposite way. I was wearing the exact same clothes as hundreds of others and behaving weirdly. That is not special; not at all. I felt very ashamed that day. I had lost a lot of my good reputation for a bunch of clothes. My friends would not care at this point, but I did. I realized that only I know what is good for me. Just because someone lives his life the way he does, does not mean that it also works with you. This was the point when I started to do my own thing and make my own choices without anybody’s opinion. However, especially since I am standing here in front of you, I would like to encourage you all to feel free to decide for yourself. If you have an idea to do something, stick with it. Do not throw away an opportunity, because the guy next to you does not like it. I am not telling you not to listen to your friends, because they often can give you a lot of good advice. My intention is to make you feel good about every step you make. Why should you make a choice, if you do not feel comfortable about it? It is hard to admit; and when I was acting like a tough guy I thought it is the right thing, but inside me I always felt uncomfortable. Make yourself happy and take your own steps. I am not standing here in front of you, because my parents wanted me to. No, I am standing here because I made the decision to do so about a year ago. Of course there were a lot of people telling me that I should not go to the U.S., but it was my dream. It was something very special, and nothing and nobody should stop you from making your dream come true. =The Irish writer and poet Oscar Wilde said once: “A red rose is not selfish because it wants to be a red rose. It would be horribly selfish if it wanted all the other flowers in the garden to be both red and roses.” = =Do not be a selfish rose and drag others into what you think is right. Be the red rose that tolerates, respects, or even encourages the choices of others. =